Capture.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

in response to b's post

well, i totally get what you mean. our situation totally swopped ard. be grateful ok, at least you get to see almost all of o3, you get what i mean dont you? yes, i really miss many ppl, cant hide that i am kinda startin to like my new class but the thgs we went thru and crapped abt in o3 is totally different. i miss how we played angel-mortal, how we celebrated each other's birthday, esp that kster's whr we actually went all out, with only two of us and we kinda enjoyed it. gosh, i even miss kster in my class la! ok, some part of it is cos he'l carry my stuffs, tho he is nicer now, he actually doesnt complain and quite willin but it just feels different without the both of you, you see =((
i even miss you being high, kster bein noisy and irritatin durin class time. i miss gevinpng's lesson too cos like i said, he isnt your norm goody-two-shoes tchr.. i am bein sucha idiot.. i didnt knoe that o3 grew on me unknowingly. i am alws complainin abt the ppl bein too weird.. more like complainin abt tp ppl on the whole but well, i am just glad we managed to bond durin the later part with all our nonsense.. i am finally tryin to appreciate their 'innocence'. hoho. b, you are losin it alr, you are not as clean anymore. hehee!

Labels: innocence, miss, o3

capture that feel
1:39 AM

Friday, May 02, 2008

am i the only one?

dicks, if you are ever readin this entry... i am sorryyy~ i knoe th fonts are kinda small but i think it looks nicer this size than the slightly bigger one cos the bigger one bolds itself by default x)

well, ytd first. we went out as fours again but this time instead of kster twas jerome, ~~the gay~~. hoho! cos stupid alvinkang didnt wanna join us! cos he was busy with his bball. anw, we watched over her dead body, twas a not bad movie i guess.. what dya expect whn you got such hot girls! eva longoria and the female lead, HOT! their figures were like.. WOW! i totally drooled the whole movie. i kinda teared at the end whn eva longoria had to give her fiance up for the 'psychic'. i means isnt givin up your most treasured belongin alws the HARDEST thg to do? the whole thg was great minus the couples all tryin to makeout on my right. hahaha! me and b totally entertained ourselves countin the no. of couples ard. there were like 30plus couples in like err.. less than 5mins! irritatin. hahaha!
sorry, there are no pics cos b didnt bring her cam. tho i brought, smart me forgot to bring memocard! -.-
b and i hung out for awhile more. that woman near tore my tubedress apart! faints! i acc-ed her to meet her cuz's boyf, friend and her pretty gd friend. gosh! jason's HOT! hahaha! she is so gon agree with me, who wudnt man. hoho.
basically twas a really gd day cos i hung out with familiar ppl, minus the abuse.

of cos today turned out better than expected. i still missed o3 like mad. are dilemmas part of evrybod's lives? first i was faced with the 'identity crisis' now, i needa decide if i'd choose genuineness or the hypocrisy (lets just call it social skills).
i mean i am definitely happy now, i am who i am back then, the pk who really speaks her mind. however, of cos there's a price to pay. eversince i entered o3, i had to kinda give up my sticks. there were ppl like kster who'd nag and reprimand me. i knoe it's bad for health but who can rebut that it is the best way to relieve stress? i still do it whn i hang out with sheer and din, just three of us sittin by a coffeehse, jommin our lives away, thats the bomb man.
my current class? well, i gotta say i kinda like it cos there are more of my kind but sometimes i think.. is it healthy? there is nobod to keep me in check anymore, will i spiral dwn again the same way? first time in 1yr plus i kinda appreciate kster's naggin tho i'd really rather he be nicer. hoho. the busted thg was whn jerome asked today if we were close to kster, me and b replied, "kinda/notreally." i mean we'd love to be close but that piggo's really difficult. hahaa! but we are definitely closer than norm friends. hoho.
i rmb alws complainin abt o3 guys bein weird and whatnots but now that i think back, they were real whn it came to commentin abt our flaws, they dont hide. in a way you can say they mean well. i love how o3 alws come tgd these days. it's just pure love!!!

1ho3 girls' 'all-black' day [lookin all demure]
the cheeky blacks
o3 ~~girls'~~ 'all-black' day
1ho3's 'uniform day' [the guailan ones]

i miss the times whn we'd have a specific dress code or whatsoever. as you can see all the girls are in black and also alvinkang cos we kinda cheated him into wearin black but as you can see in the pics, he is gay to be amog us man! hoho. i guess this wouldnt happen again cos it feels as if we've grown out of this frenzy =((

YES, DEAR FRIENDS, yknoe i loooooooove yall SOOOOOOO much yo! =DD daisuki, daidai DAI~suki! aishiteruyo! =)))

i am just glad to say that my prayers were answered, thus, i shall not be greedy. it really doesnt feel 'me' to say this but i still firmly believe that whatever happens God has a plan for me. over the years (not very long ago but say like one yr ago?), my faith has grown much stronger. whenever i walk into a deadend, i alws believe that God has left me with another way out but it is up to me to work my way to find it. there was a time i was so dwn, i didnt wanna receive any help from anybod, i didnt wanna tell but all that time there was God, the only comfort i could get out of it. it was as if God was the source of comfort then. i didnt have to tell cos God understands it all. i was forced to face up to my mistakes and now, one yr later, i am slowly walkin out of it. at the same time, i am able to stand up for my faith and not waiver. it doesnt matter if i cant trust ppl anybod but all that matter's my faith has grown stronger and that is all thats impt, at least for now.
however, one thg remains that there are thgs i wanna protect, secrets i wanna keep. i am happy with my own world and a part of me is unwillin to open up some part of my world to others, no matter how strong the friendship is. there are emotions i have never shared before, yet, i'd love to have it this way. i'd nv let anyone off for tryin to change my world, turnin it topsy-turvy..

ok, other than the fact that ryo-chan the one playin the role, i seriously think the character, Sosuke's rather complex. it's an uphill task showin his inner battles. Sosuke's a really gentle guy who loves and stands up for abused children. the irony's that he is an abusive boyf.

i like this song..

Labels: God, misss, new class, o3, ryo-chan, sosuke

capture that feel
10:26 PM

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

yokatta ne.glad

just ytd, i really didnt wanna go school. first, it was the identity crisis, second, twas the unfamiliarity. somehow i was behavin like some brat. still, i dragged my bigfatass to school. i was late for psycho today cos i couldnt find the blady stockings. i swear i rmb still left with one stockin but somehow i couldnt find it! grr~!
psycho turned out great cos i actually talked to ppl other than fiona, my prev jap classmate. there was this only ONE guy in our grp so whn we 'shoot' the guys he was the only one gettin it but he was damn cool with it. my first impression of him was like err.. lembih. hahaa! but he totally impressed me with his actions and all i cant put it to words i guess. he just makes me think, 'mm.. guys dont necessarily hafta impress with their outlooks but their personality.' we were doin the topic on teenage pregnancy, it rocked! it ended up bein a lil sexual. i ended up presentin. gosh, i think my reputation in tp's slowly goin dwnhill man. hahaa! anyhow it wont be worse than my cj one. in cj i'm like half a man alr. hoho. i cant rmb what i said but twas sth that makes them think dirty straight, i think? cos apparently only stupid ryun kiat (my prev socio classmate, he's a KOH too! ppl with the surname koh just cant help bein hot =X hoho.) laughed out damn sudden, i cant rmb what i said but the tutor busted him after that sayin sth like you ppl are so close-minded, talk abt sex only laugh -.- i think my tutor is psychotic, thats why she teaches psycho. she freaks the shit out of me sometimes, make that everytime. i am startin to enjoy psycho tho =))
shining lent me her aunt's. hahaa! it's damn gd quality cos it didnt run and i gotta admit i was DAMN rough cos i was ~~kinda~~ in a big rush.. bse turned out great. damn it man, none and i mean NONE of my tutors are 'clean', esp the hospi related tutors. i think my psycho tutor hasnt cracked a dirty joke yet, has she? but she is not hospi related. anw, my bse tutor a female cracked a pretty gd dirty joke, at least twas what i thot, that rocked man. hahaha! i kinda like her, lets hope i enjoy this whole module, babe!
the whole bse was like some porn lesson cos my class kinda started open up. more like adel and jerome were damn horrible but enjoyable in some sort cos at least got ppl understand and can crack dirty jokes and get the hints! i kinda started loud talkin a lil. the funny one i rmbed was adel was sayin like she wants a hard, cant rmb hard what cos before that i was sayin i was soft or some crap. then she said she wanted a hard one, so i told her if she wants hard one, i'm afraid she might needa go to jerome (he was sittin beside adel, i still think he is gay). HAHAA! basically the dirty ppl were like ADEL, JEROME, JIAYU, denise and mayb, just mayb only, me? hahaa! ppl restrain ok?! hahaa! i think if i really unleash will scare them! HAHAA! the best part! evn shining is gettin it! hahaaa! i love that girl, she is SO cute! hahaa! ok, after talkin so much i think i might as well post some pics of these ppl. adel is like totally known, who doesnt knoe that ~~noisybitch~~ =X prettymama hahaa!

pics on train:

jiayu and denise [i love her tongue piercin!]
jerome and me
candid me [by dee]
actcute me [by dee]
candid jerome [by dee]
jerome's gay pose [by dee]
scary jiayu! [by dee]

pics on cab:

me and jerome
the three of us on cab
jerome and his gay face again

was supposed to take more with dee but we ended up talkin all the way back to tp so no pics after that. i didnt post all the pics, there are too many to post all up!

after bse we went to meet potato and b at the bistro (OH, my psychotutor said she used to have 'potato' students, meanin there just sit there dont move, dont react kind and i thot of potato IMMEDIATELY. it sounds kinda like her. hahaa!) yeah, thgs happened there, makaned and evrybod had to leave for class and only me and pearl was left. we kinda talked alot of graduations and the likes. we both wanted to cry. hoho. anw sorry man, i think i blabbered on abt my jdrama =X BUT, you totally ditched me after that! PIG!
luckily, pops was ard. i was nearly left alone with ykp, scary yo. so after that i kinda went ard with pops to find his classmates, which included pete. so pops did some probin abt pete's 'background' as in the proj attitude all and he fed me with some gossip, that guy's a female in male's disguise man! hahaa! pops is the weirdest guy but nth new we have lots in tp. hahaa! still, he was REALLY nice today! he actually helped me carry my shoebag and uniform cover! surprisin! usually pops will just kill me or such. hahaa! why is everybod sddnly becomin so nice?! BUT I AM NOT COMPLAININ! i love how everythg is now. evrybod nice and i love evrybod, sweeeeet love~ i love thgs like that =))
then while roamin ard we kinda ran into adel and kster who just ended their basic e. lucky i didnt have to meet up with pops' classmates cos i was damn afraid it'd be awkward. hahaa! i was just lamentin how even pops is nice now to adel and k. so i was like, "alvin kang.." the nxt thg i knew, he was in a hurry to tell me, "i become bad alr" (see the link? i said pops become gd alr, so k knew i was gon ask him to carry , my stuff, thus his reply!) gosh, i love the telepathic convos between friends!
i went to change after that and sth sweet HAPPENED! i was damn happy! it's the kinda moments whr you just go, "ah~, yokatta na.." (like wow, thats great..) cos i saw k and adel sittin and chattin happily! how sweet is that?! that was like the highlight of the day! i was really so happy i just stood there and watch =DD after that whn b joined, twas like war. let the pics do the talkin man..

the fightin scenes:

val's powerful punch
kster's "retaliation" [more like defence]
kster's terrorised face
the 'mom' and the abused 'son'
battle scar
tp design stu infront of the 'pyramid'
in front of i-dont-knoe-what

i love how we are now, it is like the beginnin.. how we shud have started if all our emotions had not come into the picture and spoil the friendships. evrythg's just so comfy and so great. it is those rare moments whr the smile just comes from within, whn your friends exudes genki and makes you feel lively too!

i mean the new ppl i met are all unlike the o3s. denise is like consider 'old' ppl alr. hahaa! she's nasty but mature at the same time, i am actually kinda respectin her for how she sets her limits. i found out that she is a social too, so got khaki alr. hoho. jiayu is MAD but her body damn hot i love how she can get others to like her easily. jerome IS gay. hahaa! i mean we knoe it is an act but still different, he bothers to be gentlemanly, and damn open (shud see him and adel, killer duo). if adel hadnt said so i sure wont knoe he is from st. pat. sp just reminds me of nick pat and brenny. oh yahh! now that i talked abt it he is brenny's junior. but it is not difficult to note his english influence just that he looked nbh =X
but k and pops are still my favs! cos they help me with my stuffs! hahaa!=DD of cos val is love! i mean, ppl like FATlove, nigger, b and mayb even adel. i mean ppl who've heard my non-stop grumbles, you are impt! fl, i didnt forget you la =)) nigger, thanks for alws REALLY being just a phonecall/msg away! b, thanks for keepin me sane. adel, for evn stayin with me in o2.
there are too many pics to caption but lets just say, they are all my favourite ppl, ppl i really love! other than my berlinies of cos.

we've grown, so has our friendships. the only constant is the changes but by changin tgd, we remain by each others' sides, appreciatin one another more each day

me and b was talkin and we have classmates who are like damn open like take photos they dare to hold our waist and blah.. and k got the impression macam b like to be touch. tsk! i think what she meant was like cos they dare to 'play' then we also can push the limits. it's like how you face a player we'l wanna push our own limits and play along with them, see who's more open. thats pure fun! hoho. also cos of these ppl i can like totally be myself, like just make alot of noise. hahaa! o2girls are kinda like showin girls' school behaviours alr cos the guys are pretty open and they wont like comment on how unglam we are, they just play along. i like their openness but i still miss ppl like ann and k! the feel is just different. dies.

let evrythg remain like this. let us go back to before, to the times whn our friendships blossomed. if our emotions had not got in the way, is this how thgs shud have been? i love how evrythg is but am i bein too close? i dont want to be too close and suffer the impact. i just wanna watch from afar and smile from the bottom of my heart. if thats the price for our friendships, i will do it. i dont want thgs to change..

Labels: favourites, grumbles, new ppl, o2, o3, old loves

capture that feel
8:56 PM