Name: Thursday, January 31, 2008
am i really suitable
am i really suitable for this line? at this point of time, is it too late to turn back? over this period of time i changed and sadly it was for the worse. i wasnt as strong to cope with the politics.. i understand that i shud expect many politics in this industry and i shudnt evn think of making friends in this line..yet it is still scary talking to darddy abt it.. my fam's like rather involved in this hotel line and it is just not great to listen abt it. we were just watching some drama on hotel politics and i meant it whn i said it is too suffocating to watch, i hated the politics.. it is too tiring.. darddy gave me a stern lecture, saying that if i want to go into industry, i must be prepared. it will be an evryday affair, he was using his friend being sack as an eg. it came so sudden without any warning. this, he said is what hotel industry is all abt.. thanks ar, dadd..
i dont rmb whn i started becomin so weak, i alws thot i was much stronger. maybe i needa become stronger again? can i survive if i just wanna be myself? all these sucks and i am ONLY yr 1!
Labels: hotelier
10:50 PM
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
stupid piggo's bday!
HAPPY 19th PIGGO!
- ahpek 'slpin by the road'
- 2semi-drunk and 1 never sane (guess which)
- acting guai durin projwork [listenin to music instead!]
Labels: gayboy's bday
12:00 AM
Sunday, January 27, 2008
pissed
i just completed my quiz 4. i would have done better if i didnt refer to book and just tikamed. i actually did worse referin to bk. wtf. rahh!' just in a damn pissed mood now, thanks to my stupid parents. they go on bein irritatin, i'd just skip new year. bloody cows.Labels: pissed, stupid social quiz
10:39 PM
Saturday, January 26, 2008
being honest to oneself
my date for the day:
i wanted to blog so much on my way home but honestly i am tryin to rmb as much as possible.. ok, lets start from the morn.. was late so i kinda had to run ALL the way up to 5th floor. dang! my stamina like puddin like that now.. i guess i went in a lil pale cos with all that runnin, i am just grateful i didnt just fall off those stairs, they aint too easy to run up, boy.
went to class, then was thinkin abt proj, esp ob and commskills today, plus micro, evrythg just felt screwed. i mean, as much it is a grp member's fault, i was thinkin mayb i shud have done more and even do more of her part. so the best thg was i just started cryin. i didnt like bawl in class but just rushed out the moment i felt tears wellin up. i guess i scared rozario off a lil cos i just sddnly walked up to him and asked for permission to get out. i thot he didnt notice anythg but was just too caught up with his explanation thus his stunned expression.
so i just stayed in the toilet and cried my heart out. it really felt great after that.. i mean, we all need the grades to pass, it is no one person thg. i am just sick of all the arguments and the whatsoever. the lack of slp, the broken promises, the lies... i am really in no state to take any of these, i am near breakdown.
i kinda hate myself now, why am i so frustrated for certain proj, esp micro, who do i bother to get so pissed off. i alws rmb myself as the one heckin and handin my work up on time and ignorin evrythg else, i hate the stress, i cant handle it well and it is crashin on me. mayb it'd have been better with it been individual proj..
anw i returned to the class and we kinda celebrated pearl's bday. sorry girl, i cant sing you the cedar bday song.. sing here can? =))
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday happy birthday
happy birthday to you!
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
lalalalalala
lalalalalala
lalalalalalala
lalalalalala!!!!
yeah!!!!
it's been a longgggg time man!
anw after that still wasnt feelin too great but it really doesnt matter does it? did i mention rozario was damn nice? after class he called me to ask if i am ok, that was whn i realised he saw me cryin! i thot it wasnt obvious behind the cpecs, plus i was tryin to cover up.. i guess he is a nice tutor but just failed to impress his students..
after that rushed to do ob again. alvin was pretty pissed and it was really scary. today was one of the rare days that both me and b both didnt have money due to very stupid reasons. she cabbed to school so all she had left was like, what, 1 dollar? i didnt even have a single cent! because the genius decided to be different today, she saved her whole proj in her precious thumbdrive. together with her $$$, she put them into her pretty pink pouch. then? THEN she forgot to bring it! BAGUS! genius in the makin, rocket scientist...
so like for the FIRST time, ok, mayb not first but just hilarious to have alvin lend both of us money. he edited ob and he had to rush to his sis's ROM, how cool's that?! gettin married at 25! ideal age! and me and b got into a whole bimbotic marriage love and partner convo AGAIN! we've been doin that alot lately and i've gotta admit that twas fun. hehehe!
then twas rushin of ob. celine was freakin funny but lucky for us, if she wasnt there we'd die of pissdom. din came to help too, and cos of that he didnt make it in time for his test! =X sorry! and whn he called i couldnt really talk to him cos i was RUNNIN to all ard to piece our ob tgd.
why isit that all i've done today was run. sounds familiar uh?! twas a line from proposal daisakusen..
the punishment for not exercisin all these times caught up with me today. cos we had no guys ard I had to run! mother cow, i nearly dieded from it.. ran FIVE flights of stairs up to level 6 and had to run ard lookin for the room. SUCKS!
after that i skipped tuition and hafi replaced me. we were intendin to go to kelly's hse to do bcs but we forgot that they had CYA! dorkish! so i still skipped tuition and hafi had a go with tuitionin since we were just talkin before that and she was sayin she wanted the extra cash, so tada! it turns out that she enjoyed herself durin the tuition cos the time passed fast BUT she wanted to kill the boy in class. LOL. boys... hahaha!
town with b, i swear today felt great. somehow there were no arguments, the clothes we looked at generally coincide and our mindsets similar. i loved how we were discussin why singapore cannot afford to have nightlife.
we managed to get what we went to town for, pretty pleased with it =DD fun and b's mommy's helpin us with it i guess. pls, the thg's too hot for the owner-to-be can?! and we found a potential shop to shop for clothese for the boyfriends. hahaa! spent many many and b's broke.. OOPS!
OH! and did i say i got dealt with quadriple blows today? what a bad day.. but i cant rmb what were they and even if i cant i cant elaborate here. alright, i really dont wanna continue now, it is a long enough entry..
i think i am weird, i am super uncomfy with double datin! cos i was lookin at sep and bj today and i got reminded of sheer and nad, me and hafiz.. damn.. half the time me and hafiz were like tellin each other, hoi, faster chao cancan?! hahaa! *shruggs. too bad i am weird.
oh oh OH! cos val was sayin she wanted to date a guy with blonde armpit hair, meanin he's angmoh la! i saw this angmoh near my area and he was holdin hands with this chinese girl. she was of a small build but the way she walks, TEROK sia! she kinda swaggers if you get what i mean. fine, i'm being bitchy here.
just a random question.. can cracks be mended? and if so, will it still be the same? can we really cover the signs of that crack? it is the same with human relationship. i realised i am not somebody who would put in effort for a friendship. in fact, i give up too easily.. it is just cos of the fact that i am afraid of gettin hurt. i am far too protective of myself such that i wont allow the slightest possibility of hurtin myself. this is also the case in relationship for me.. this feels really stupid..
okok! ended! maomao!!! read and you can comment. wahahhaa! anw this is my maomao!!!
12:04 AM
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
dieded
roarrrr!` i really dont knoe why i am feelin so down.. or maybe i knoe but it really doesnt matter yo. knowin doesnt not equate to being able to solve all the problems ahead. i am so afraid sometimes, what if i just break down in public. i am tellin you, it'l be a GG. the most bagus thg that can happen. hahhaa! i'l prolly give ppl the very murderous look if i do look up. gosh, i am weird. wahahhaa!maybe my weirdness really doesnt matter? cos i have good friends that are LOVE. there is the banglamat, love, niggaboy, b, scooby, baby huey, kor, yada yada.. i realised all those close to me dont seem to 'have' a name anymore, they are totally nicknamefied... hmm... oh and BERLIN WALL!! maomao! lol..
i am like in love with the jap song in my blog tho the playlist is totally not mine and i cant be bothered to change. the first song's called, Ikenai Taiyou. i love it's groove and feel, make you wanna sway along =DD
ok, as 'compensation' i shall find a pretty pic of hippo and post it up but i think i look sucky in this photo! but this is to replace the previous pic but i am NOT replacin that, i totally love it =DD cos that is totally hippofied. hahaha!
i'm gettin abit
- berlin before meal
- berlin after meal
- pk lookin stoned with a normal-lookin estee..
Labels: berlin, friends, stone
11:12 PM
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
suffocated
if only i can ditch evrythg here and run away, if only... will blog elaboratively whn i'm FINALLY done with my proj.
TO ESTEE aka HIPPOPOTATO:
TO ESTEE aka HIPPOPOTATO:
HAPPY 20TH! BIRTHDAY!!!!
CONGRATS ON BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE NOW!!!!!
dont be like simo momo, it is great to be 20, so now you can officially date 20plus guys and not look as if you are datin old men. hahaha! nahh!' i'm gettin crappy from the lack of slp.. beanie, enjoy your 20th, congrats on being the first, simo will join you soon. she cant stay in her denial for long =DDD dont hate me, hate try momo, cos she is the last to turn 20! hahaha! i cant wait for mine. haaha!
11:40 PM
Monday, January 21, 2008
how does my dog see me?
200801152338I’m on the bullet train now.
It’s my first time returning to Osaka in 2008.
I’m going back home. I’ll be able to see my parents whom I’ve not met for a while. There is now one less in the family.
The dog, Chibi, that Nishikido family has been keeping since I was in elementary school passed away on January 8.
The inspiration for his name came very easily, he was called Chibi because he was very tiny.
He grew very big.
He was a very gentle dog and friendly to everyone, and I’ve never been bitten by him. When Nishikido family goes on a holiday, it’s always by car. Chibi often went on such trips with us. Chibi, who was always chained and lived in a world with a radius of 2 metres, would run through the beach or grass and be as dogs should be, snorting like a pig, and everyone in the family laughed.
I often took him on walks when he was young .
He has this habit of eating whatever he sees so I could never my eyes off him during those walks.
He was strong and my sister was once dragged away when she was young.
My father disciplined him very well, and he could perform handshake, change hands, sit, wait and down.
But regrettably, I don't have any more memory from then on.
I do not remember myself taking him out on walks which I was taking turns with my brothers to do, or feeding him in the morning or afternoon since I became a junior high school student.
I only doted on him when he was young,
I took him on walks many times a day,
made Chibi tired and deliberately woke him up when he was sleeping and hugged him…
What was I like in Chibi’s eyes?
When I do go home on the rare occasion, he would just watch me open the door without making a sound, what was I like in his eyes?
I hurt Chibi with the convenient excuse that I could not communicate with him.
Since last year, Chibi started to behave strangely, and I heard he even bit my mother when she was feeding him.My eldest brother told me about Chibi’s death.
My eldest brother was the one who doted on him the most, took him on walks the most and was closest to Chibi.
Frankly, I don’t know what I should write now.
I don’t know.
i was readin ryo's blog and i came across this part. i thot it was really painful how as human, we rarely spare a thot for these animals that may just prove to be a better companion than another human bring.. honestly, i think i might have been a horrible owner. ashlee's been a pretty tamed dog, just too cowardy and smelly. he'd be all excited whn any one of the family returns but sometimes we just hafnt been very nice to that lil thg. i rmb how i used to discipline him, i'd say it was pretty harsh but of cos he became more obedient. what if he just disappears from my hse one day?
i think i will cry, i wont be like tingwei, "feel nth lo". i guess, the feelin of sth missin will eat me up inside and i really hate that..
Labels: ashlee, ryo's nikki
12:27 AM
Saturday, January 19, 2008
proj, proj, proj, proj, proj, proj, projekuto....................
proj, proj and MORE projs. whn are we gettin a break man! i cant take this anymore man. i am startin to jump auto-shutoff. style style sia... like i cant even rmb what i said one sec ago, this is pure tiredness man... rahh!`since i've made my bloggin width so pic-spam friendly, i might as well line my pics up horizontally.. some retarded pics i found..
- shoppin for sep's bday; ikea
- simo and me!!!] this is not retarded but just post it anw, since berlin=
retardnessbut we happy ppl yo! =D - now this IS retarded] we were tyin our ponies on the top of our heads like some pugilists. hahaha! love's gon kill me.. woohoo! but she doesnt have interet connection now so i am pretty safe yo. hoho!
- kel & b] some random shot taken with b's cammie, the bad photo day. hahaa! none of the pics came out nice..
lappy being a biatch, it's cranky so i cant load anymore pics.. shall find more random pics nxt time. tired, gon do some stuff then i'm good for lalaland... zZzzzz...
Labels: never-ending projects, spastic photos
12:40 AM
Sunday, January 13, 2008
all-in-one
/edit] i am a genius! i managed to change the settings of my blog post =DDi am like so tired i dont evn think i can blog properly.. just gon cut and paste some stuffs that i had saved in my lappy. they are not in order..
I am enjoying the bus ride home more and more each day,
Even if it is just the silence that surrounds us.
The topics we talk abt now are very much different from our first ride home.
I could remember the attic story clearly as if twas yesterday.
Now, we are really talking and pondering over more serious issues,
At least issues that i think are significant in some sense.
Busing is such and important event in my life it seems,
So many things happen on the busrides.
Fortunately, most of them are times that i am grateful for.
It's always been the same since secondary school days,
Many of the elements have changed
(i actually used the word elements!
But it really doesnt have anything to do with code =D)
but the bottom line remains..
There was nothing she could do,
She was simply rooted to her bed.
Staring blankly at the moving screen,
The events slowly unfolded right before her eyes.
Tears streamed down her tired face uncontrollably,
Her eyes felt like they weren’t hers anymore.
The pain was indescribable,
Responsibilities, society’s opinions, one’s cowardice,
All these only further magnify the excruciating wound.
It seems as if those tears were the most desperate measure,
A feeble attempt to wash away the pain and hurt.
As the memory returns to haunt,
The raw wound,
Still trickling with blood,
Torn open repeatedly.
How many times does it takes,
Before one can finally move on?
Disappointed by ppl again and again.
She just wants to go on working hard at living,
Having a reason to wake up for everyday.
Even if it is for the simplest things.
All the external factors what are not within her control,
She has decided to just let them be,
Since there is nothing she can do about it.
Except to ignore them.
She's no longer affected,
By the slightest change in attitude by anybody.
In fact, she is glad,
Of her sudden ability to stay cool,
Regardless of what happens..
She's afraid of what is happening,
Afraid that all these nasty happenings may just get her,
Get her on a bad day.
She doesnt wanna wear her emotions on her sleeves anymore,
She cant differentiate the good from the bad.
All she needs is her chocs yo!
The tension at home and in school is madness,
how long can it last?
Maybe let it drag till exam period,
It'd be good, isnt it?
Why do you wake up every morning?
Nobody ever really thought about this question..
Just because you cant sleep anymore,
Is not a good enough answer..
She's hooked on Code,
The 'raw' voice,
The heart-wrenching lyrics,
The screams,
PERFECT tearjerker..
She didnt just tear,
She cried.
She's so weak now it's a disgrace.
However vulnerable,
She insists on coping alone.
Talk about being stubborn.
As much as (Proposal Daisakusen) was about Love,
She was more envious of their friendship..
How they talked about being unable to meet up everyday like before,
How work has separated them.
Hurts.
RyoPi's friendships's sweet.
Making it seems like only natural to rely on one another,
To accompany each other through rough patches silently.
Everything seems like it is only right.
The trust that exists between them,
The mutual respect.
What more can one ask for?
She became girlier
But she didnt become happier.
She finds everything amusing now,
Especially herself.
Deep inside,
All the sarcastic sniggles for herself.
Pathetic.
The world seems so much more perfect
When she views it with ice-cold looks.
Why?
She need not be warm towards everybody
But she should never doubt others,
Or have negative impressions of others.
This will only turn her into an ugly monster..
On the other hand,
she likes the changes in her recently.
She is happier..
Or in the least she is not so sad,
To the extent that she wanna hide from the world.
Nothing beats strolling in the rain
When you're not having the best of moods.
If only it'd pour further.
The rain makes me feel so refreshed!
Paired with the dancey music,
Let's party yo!
The change in face is scary..
No one is indispensable,
Or so the OB tutor said.
In fact, darddy said the same thing before.
I hate what i see
Alot's running through this puny brain of mine,
MANY ALOTS!
There's a reason for everything
but for this post, there isnt.
Labels: many me, many posts
1:32 AM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
'no time to blog'
| What Priscilla Means |
 You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. |
Labels: Priscilla
11:08 PM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
attempt failed
alright, my attempt to change my blogskin TOTALLY failed cos i couldnt find a suitable one. fine, i found some pi and ryo-chan's but it's either the postioning was wrong or thgs just simply doesnt work out. i found this SUPER cute one but it was too squeezy./edited] fine, i relented and used the squeezy one cos the pics were just too captivatin! =DD and the best part's i managed to delete the pic that refused to open. i just hate the white box with a red cross whn the pic fails to open, eyesore!!
i am tempted to spam again but chances are, there might be a repeat of pics and i am supposed to be doin my socio quizzes and my mkg proj so no time!!!! anw if yall evn noticed i didnt even bother changin the template so if got damn gay headings or whatsoever, it is NOT me! i will try to change it asap i guess...
oh, and SHEER! i just realised 6" is abt 15.2 converted, try harder. hahaaa! and qian and preena are comin to tp on thurs, you better get your ass to tp man!
recently been catchin up with some of the cj peeps finally! cos their As are finally over and rahh!' and it's been quite some time since i laughed so loudly/heartily (you get my point). of cos the noisy laughters are accompanied by profanities, it's a bad habit but what kicks are there with no 'punctuations'?! hoho. it is whn you laugh so hard you needa use the most expressive words. hahaha! i just miss all the laughin and 'punctuations'. last fri whn i met up with qian and preena i think i was tryin to tear cine's pasta mania down. hahhaa! gosh, besties who really knoe me will knoe how loud i can get from all that laughters. haaha! but with berlin i wont use vulgarities la. hehee!
Labels: blogskin, laughters, meet-ups, pi, profanities, ryo-chan
11:45 PM
Friday, January 04, 2008
pic spam
ok, for some damn ridiculous reason my mom just decided to bring up some sensitive issues.
Labels: frustrations, pic spam
10:43 PM
Thursday, January 03, 2008
happy happy day!
ok, i'm gon keep this short (hopefully) and sweet. since some doggie's complainin that my blog's too wordy.. sorry seh, forgot doggies not that learnt, right SHEER!? hahhaa!first thg first, ytd we ended our angel-mortal game. basically the game's evrybod 'adopt' a mortal by drawin lots and the objective's to not let the mortal find out abt your identity. just so simple and of cos with evrybody's name in the pool you'd be somebody's mortal too.. ok, if you cant understand, forget it. basically my angel gave me something that's so.. eh.. what's a gd word.. whatever, just something that'l kill me, like hyperventilate, excited, wanna die, wanna cry! lol. fine! let the pics do the talkin!:
1: the wrappin originally 2: the mag, my angel aka vivi tryin to cover tomo's face (but i can still imagine his guailan face!) 3: the mag originally 4: the wrapper of the mini-album 5: THE album 6: the very neglected jellybeans but i'm sure it'd get more attention inside my humongous stomach =DD
will do a pic spam nxt post of tbaby, ryo-chan and pi! woohoo!
Labels: angel-mortal, pic spam, presents
1:20 AM