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Friday, May 02, 2008

am i the only one?

dicks, if you are ever readin this entry... i am sorryyy~ i knoe th fonts are kinda small but i think it looks nicer this size than the slightly bigger one cos the bigger one bolds itself by default x)

well, ytd first. we went out as fours again but this time instead of kster twas jerome, ~~the gay~~. hoho! cos stupid alvinkang didnt wanna join us! cos he was busy with his bball. anw, we watched over her dead body, twas a not bad movie i guess.. what dya expect whn you got such hot girls! eva longoria and the female lead, HOT! their figures were like.. WOW! i totally drooled the whole movie. i kinda teared at the end whn eva longoria had to give her fiance up for the 'psychic'. i means isnt givin up your most treasured belongin alws the HARDEST thg to do? the whole thg was great minus the couples all tryin to makeout on my right. hahaha! me and b totally entertained ourselves countin the no. of couples ard. there were like 30plus couples in like err.. less than 5mins! irritatin. hahaha!
sorry, there are no pics cos b didnt bring her cam. tho i brought, smart me forgot to bring memocard! -.-
b and i hung out for awhile more. that woman near tore my tubedress apart! faints! i acc-ed her to meet her cuz's boyf, friend and her pretty gd friend. gosh! jason's HOT! hahaha! she is so gon agree with me, who wudnt man. hoho.
basically twas a really gd day cos i hung out with familiar ppl, minus the abuse.

of cos today turned out better than expected. i still missed o3 like mad. are dilemmas part of evrybod's lives? first i was faced with the 'identity crisis' now, i needa decide if i'd choose genuineness or the hypocrisy (lets just call it social skills).
i mean i am definitely happy now, i am who i am back then, the pk who really speaks her mind. however, of cos there's a price to pay. eversince i entered o3, i had to kinda give up my sticks. there were ppl like kster who'd nag and reprimand me. i knoe it's bad for health but who can rebut that it is the best way to relieve stress? i still do it whn i hang out with sheer and din, just three of us sittin by a coffeehse, jommin our lives away, thats the bomb man.
my current class? well, i gotta say i kinda like it cos there are more of my kind but sometimes i think.. is it healthy? there is nobod to keep me in check anymore, will i spiral dwn again the same way? first time in 1yr plus i kinda appreciate kster's naggin tho i'd really rather he be nicer. hoho. the busted thg was whn jerome asked today if we were close to kster, me and b replied, "kinda/notreally." i mean we'd love to be close but that piggo's really difficult. hahaa! but we are definitely closer than norm friends. hoho.
i rmb alws complainin abt o3 guys bein weird and whatnots but now that i think back, they were real whn it came to commentin abt our flaws, they dont hide. in a way you can say they mean well. i love how o3 alws come tgd these days. it's just pure love!!!

1ho3 girls' 'all-black' day [lookin all demure]
the cheeky blacks
o3 ~~girls'~~ 'all-black' day
1ho3's 'uniform day' [the guailan ones]

i miss the times whn we'd have a specific dress code or whatsoever. as you can see all the girls are in black and also alvinkang cos we kinda cheated him into wearin black but as you can see in the pics, he is gay to be amog us man! hoho. i guess this wouldnt happen again cos it feels as if we've grown out of this frenzy =((

YES, DEAR FRIENDS, yknoe i loooooooove yall SOOOOOOO much yo! =DD daisuki, daidai DAI~suki! aishiteruyo! =)))

i am just glad to say that my prayers were answered, thus, i shall not be greedy. it really doesnt feel 'me' to say this but i still firmly believe that whatever happens God has a plan for me. over the years (not very long ago but say like one yr ago?), my faith has grown much stronger. whenever i walk into a deadend, i alws believe that God has left me with another way out but it is up to me to work my way to find it. there was a time i was so dwn, i didnt wanna receive any help from anybod, i didnt wanna tell but all that time there was God, the only comfort i could get out of it. it was as if God was the source of comfort then. i didnt have to tell cos God understands it all. i was forced to face up to my mistakes and now, one yr later, i am slowly walkin out of it. at the same time, i am able to stand up for my faith and not waiver. it doesnt matter if i cant trust ppl anybod but all that matter's my faith has grown stronger and that is all thats impt, at least for now.
however, one thg remains that there are thgs i wanna protect, secrets i wanna keep. i am happy with my own world and a part of me is unwillin to open up some part of my world to others, no matter how strong the friendship is. there are emotions i have never shared before, yet, i'd love to have it this way. i'd nv let anyone off for tryin to change my world, turnin it topsy-turvy..

ok, other than the fact that ryo-chan the one playin the role, i seriously think the character, Sosuke's rather complex. it's an uphill task showin his inner battles. Sosuke's a really gentle guy who loves and stands up for abused children. the irony's that he is an abusive boyf.

i like this song..

Labels: God, misss, new class, o3, ryo-chan, sosuke

capture that feel
10:26 PM