Name: Monday, April 28, 2008
touch-me-not
i am in a stupid bad state, bad mood, bad weather and many probs pilin themselves up. at this moment i am actually glad i have babyt. as in the reason i wanted to have it was to stretch my limit, to have an achievement of sort to tell myself that i am strong enough for it. it's the thg thats keepin me goin do far, sadly. it's what's stoppin me from succumbin to temptation, there are times whn i just tink, heck, just pull it out. it sounds damn sick but it is real. however, thinkin of the pain, no thanks. hoho.stupid kster kept askin how come i did that but i just couldnt mouth the words, i did it to feel more secure, sounds stupid uh. cos somehow it makes me feel whole, as if somebod, somethg's holdin on to me, somethg close, real and a part of me.
sometimes i wish i could be like akira, innocent or single-minded enough to believe that if he buried hurtful stuff, it'l make it go away or disappear, whatever you call that. i loved the character while watchin the show cos i think it takes hell lot to do that, to be the person he is. i cant help thinkin, he could have been the smartest among them all but choose to let go. that itself takes alot. some stuffs, we really dont have to bring it up.. i mean instead of havin the whole world bein unhappy, how bout just one person keep her damn blady mouth shut and let everythg go, what gd will it do bringin it aboveboard? no prize lei.
ok, my blog's damn borin now cos there are no pics! will post soon, with my baby cuz too.. i am too tired from ssm today
Labels: akira, complete, the use of it
11:58 PM