Name: Tuesday, April 01, 2008
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today was an uber unfruitful day.. not that i wasted it watchin videos but surprisingly, i didnt even manage to really watch videos. the videos were playin but nth was goin in.. thots were runnin wild in my head.. what'd have happened if things were like these, who'l be the ppl i'l be meetin now? will i still be who i am now? will evrythg be different? will i achieve more? more questions but no ans.
i came across somebod's entry abt graduation and enterin the society.. (maybe it is too much of gokusen ne! will talk abt that laters) i have definitely postponed my entrance to the society, not that i'd really love to enter it soon. somehow i just have a gut feelin that enterin the society will result in me losin myself but that really isnt the point now yo. i mean, i feel as if i can relate to the person bloggin, watchin from afar as one's friend take on a totally different path from you. somehow i guess i respected the person for still soundin ok (or maybe it was just a pretence OR the person just has slow reaction like ME -.-) anyhow, that was just what sparked my total emoness. dumb as it is, it just made me feel blehh!
i had actually thot abt this issues quite some time ago.. somewhr in the middle of this hols.. i mean of cos i have friends like feli who'd be downright honest and go, "see la, cleverest amongst us, Os do so well and now then come poly whn i am graduatin.." hahaha! i thot it really didnt matter, i meant her comments. somehow i am fine with all these kinda comments tho they just deal you with a HUGE blow. cos only ppl close enough can be honest with you abt what they think.
the thg now isnt that i regret goin to cj.. maybe? i mean i love the ppl i meant there, the things i learnt there besides academics, it'd have been totally different in another school but what i cant get over is the lag that i am facin.. on the other hand, if i had went to SIM straight.. i wouldnt be doin what i enjoy now.. meetin cool tutors, with the knowledge, experiences and the zest. all i can say's mayb life just isnt as smooth-sailin as we expect it to be.
really dont knoe what the hell is wrong with me but mayb i've just been thinkin too much.. mayb a smile will solve all the probs x)
song of the day:
Labels: perfect, thots of the past, what is in for the future
10:13 PM