Name: Friday, March 21, 2008
marathon.
well, since i am waitin for my show to finish loadin, which is takin UBER long.. i decided to post again. honestly, i am missin the feel of x-ctry run.. the feel of runnin alone, yet, not quite alone just feels heavenly but at the same time is the worst feelin in the world. to go on runnin, you'l feel drained out but to stop, you'd immediately feel the weariness takin a toll on your whole body. the fight to keep goin and constantly fight the thot of givin up just wears one dwn badly.however, the feel of competition is just great, fightin another person but not hurtin him/her physical. competin to see who is stronger both physically and mentally. i am not one who'd compete unless i am confident of myself. of cos, i have ran feelin nervous and unsure of myself but honestly, i hafnt lost before x) hafnt lost to myself, just yet. i might have regrets after a race but i alws knoe i've given my all. thats prolly the few times whn i'd push to my max.
wont forget the macritchie runs, the start, the process, the irritatin passin vehicles, the stubborn person in me who refuses to lose out, havin to calculate just how much i can push and accelerate, the endin sprint, the expressway that never seems to end, the cheerin crowd, familiar faces, the final line, the end, the drained out body that collapses and endearin seniors/friends who'd help me register, the satisfaction, the exhausted body, the sense of achievement. evrythg, all in all, that is prolly totally worth the nervousness i get beforehand. i WANT to run, i NEED to run but at current stage, i just cant, cos i'd just end up bein very disappointed in myself. i expect too much from my own timin.
the first time i ran for my x-ctry, not national of cos, i am not that gd yet yo.. twas cedar's i set my own standard and i really dont want it goin anymore lower than i had before but i really lack the trainin now. damn, i really hate it..
it really feels great now that i can blog freely, ignorin what others would think, read and infere from my blog. in fact, i am just bloggin directly from the thots in my mind so if i actually sounded cocky, seriously, too bad..
my hand still smells of the sticks. SHIAT!
Labels: confidence, expectation, stick, the run, x-ctry
3:14 AM