just a bottle of green tea (a big one at that =DD) and you got me smilin like a child. it felt kinda awkward to grin that way cos i kinda forgot how it felt to really smile like this. nevertheless, it really felt great to smile that way! xDDD

Labels: green tea, grin

capture that feel
1:07 AM
i swear i didnt cheat or do anythg, it is FATE! wahhaha! sounds damn gay.
i evn chose green instead of yellow. it is the colours of the rangers. if you knoe,you'l knoe what i mean. gosh, how shiok is this man. hoho! i did the quiz again and changed some of the answers. fickled as i am there were some questions whr i couldnt decided between both choices. durin the second try i chose the other options and guess who i got? I GOT RYO-CHAN AGAIN xP gay yo!



but abit salahh ar.. me? housewife? at this point of time not very possible yet. well.. if it's for ryo-chan.. eh.. hahhaa! this is madness from studyin! yucks.

Labels: kanjani eito

capture that feel
9:55 PM
feelin damn down now and i just wanna scream a whole string of vulgarities but of cos it is not possible. tho i titled this as exam stress, i am only facin tests! mother cow!! i dare any of you to look down on the word tests. cos tests in poly is as gd as exams just that they've decided to be 'NICE' and call it tests so they can delude others!

hate the sucky feelin. i just wanna die. RAHHH!' feel like moshin or just jumpin along to rock music. this is what serious muggin do to you. come to think of it, it's a long time since i am so stressed over a paper, or actually evn botherin to sit down to study for it. the last time this happened was like.. mayb Os? ok, i mugged for my 1.5 promo but really not like that.. i realised all my studyin life i dont really mug, thats why i am so screwed. thanks. gahh!

Labels: exam stress, what serious muggin do to you

capture that feel
1:14 AM
i need want a boyf! hahaha! the influence is TOO bad. wahahaa! i was readin sarah's blog and the part abt alvin's bday all was nice to read. i think our class shud organise more bday celebrations cos we are so cranky, i think evry celebration will be many fun with the class gettin closer =DD

but we really need more budget!! timmy can go collect many money from ppl then me and val can do the plannin! so fun! hehee! ok, i was semi-kiddin cos i think planners alws end up fillin the shortage.. not cool at all..

tmr i shall try to get the batt for the cam from dinny. if it goes smoothly, tmr i will be able to upload pics, hopefully it will be many. hehehe! lets hope new year will be less depressin!

Labels: bdays, boyf, cam, new yr

capture that feel
2:07 AM
grandma seemed shorter than before. it definitely isnt because i grew. i see gramp more than once a year but it really doesnt mean anything because i see her less than 10times a year. it is no fault of the busy curriculum or whatsoever. it is just my refusal to visit because i hate to see my uncle and aunties. guilt took over me the instance i noticed how much she has aged.

the anxious and worried look on gramp's face, she tries to hide it but it is so prominent. she is real worried abt grandpa but she refuses to show it.. grandpa's in hosp again just like last eve. it is becoming like a neverending cycle. sometimes i just wonder if it is better to just let him leave in peace..

coincidentally all my gramps are very headstrong and stubborn ppl, this, i got it from them. these are virtues, as far as i choose to believe. it is also these virtues that makes me ponder if it is more painful for us to prolong their lives as it is hurtin their ego very badly..

i still rmb grandpa's face whn he was conscious after his op and being unable to control his body movements. that frustrations clearly written across his face, it was unforgettable and heartbreakin..

we were never close but to face the loss of somebody a part of my life is really scary. shud anythg happens, i will still cry secretly.. thats why i really dont have the courage to even think abt it.. to hide behind an unaffected mask is the last thg i wanna do again..

i have to admit that i actually care more than i appear to be..

but whom i am more concerned with is my maternal grandma. i'm just glad that haughty mama's still very much healthy.. tho not as mobile.. old age, it is scary..

deep inside i am sucha CNP. i may look and behave like some kendang but come new yr, tgd with friends like val, we can be DAMN bangdang! the family values, the tranditions, i really would love to carry them out. imagine waking up in the morning just to wish your grandparents good health, thats a blessing, isnt it?

OMG! imagine i date a CNP nxt time?! fainted! hahhaa! nahh, i'l date another kendang. hoho!

Labels: CNP, cny, old age

capture that feel
10:37 PM
alright people, this is what we managed to get from another class. no guarantee if it is useful, so refer at your own risk =))

Labels: bcs 'tips'

capture that feel
8:49 PM
to hate is the most tiring thg to me but it just wont stop me from doin so.
i hate cryin and being unable to stop.
i hate sittin there crying non-stop like a dumbass.
i hate you trying to act like you care whn you dont.
i hate you alws thinking that i am at fault.
i hate you for making me cry.
i hate you for being this unfair.
i hate myself for being this weak.
i hate not being able to cope alone but still insisting on acting strong.
i hate havin to smile in front of others whn i dont mean it.
i hate not having my best friends ard whn i just feel like breaking dwn.
i hate having to pretend ok in front of best friends.
i hate being taken advantage of whn i am nice to others.
i hate treating others nicely whn they dont evn deserve it.
i hate insensitive ppl.
i hate having to be nice.
i hate losing.
i hate being this childish.
and i hate idiots who will be dumb enough to ask me what is this blog post all about.

Labels: hating

capture that feel
10:43 PM
ok, i dont care that i have socio test. i am still gon blog this. i LOVEEEEEE my friends, as in the old ones that i made. they really brighten my days to bits... this is gon sound gay but they are like sunshine =DD
managed to meet up with kerr and pei today. we had some sort of gathering at kor's. sorry, i gotta leave early but socio test is being a bitch yo. gotta say today totally ended well tho the beginnin was... sucky. hoho. anw accordin to kerr i alws say that whn we have gatherings like this. that i love that kinda friendship kor and his buddies has. serious what. they've been close for so long and i really knoe it takes MANY efforts to really meet up like that.. you get what i mean?
but today's meetup wasnt for a gd cause. it is the farewell for jerome and weipeng. cos they are leavin spore and stupid jerome is not evn comin back. dang! one less person to talk to whn i needa do serious thinkin. hehee! i guess he'l fly back often? he better man.
cant say how much i love these. shall continue whn kerr sends me the pics. love all. OUT! hahaha!

Labels: farewell, long-lasting friendships

capture that feel
11:12 PM