Name: Saturday, January 26, 2008
being honest to oneself
my date for the day:
i wanted to blog so much on my way home but honestly i am tryin to rmb as much as possible.. ok, lets start from the morn.. was late so i kinda had to run ALL the way up to 5th floor. dang! my stamina like puddin like that now.. i guess i went in a lil pale cos with all that runnin, i am just grateful i didnt just fall off those stairs, they aint too easy to run up, boy.
went to class, then was thinkin abt proj, esp ob and commskills today, plus micro, evrythg just felt screwed. i mean, as much it is a grp member's fault, i was thinkin mayb i shud have done more and even do more of her part. so the best thg was i just started cryin. i didnt like bawl in class but just rushed out the moment i felt tears wellin up. i guess i scared rozario off a lil cos i just sddnly walked up to him and asked for permission to get out. i thot he didnt notice anythg but was just too caught up with his explanation thus his stunned expression.
so i just stayed in the toilet and cried my heart out. it really felt great after that.. i mean, we all need the grades to pass, it is no one person thg. i am just sick of all the arguments and the whatsoever. the lack of slp, the broken promises, the lies... i am really in no state to take any of these, i am near breakdown.
i kinda hate myself now, why am i so frustrated for certain proj, esp micro, who do i bother to get so pissed off. i alws rmb myself as the one heckin and handin my work up on time and ignorin evrythg else, i hate the stress, i cant handle it well and it is crashin on me. mayb it'd have been better with it been individual proj..
anw i returned to the class and we kinda celebrated pearl's bday. sorry girl, i cant sing you the cedar bday song.. sing here can? =))
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday happy birthday
happy birthday to you!
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
selamat hari jadi
lalalalalala
lalalalalala
lalalalalalala
lalalalalala!!!!
yeah!!!!
it's been a longgggg time man!
anw after that still wasnt feelin too great but it really doesnt matter does it? did i mention rozario was damn nice? after class he called me to ask if i am ok, that was whn i realised he saw me cryin! i thot it wasnt obvious behind the cpecs, plus i was tryin to cover up.. i guess he is a nice tutor but just failed to impress his students..
after that rushed to do ob again. alvin was pretty pissed and it was really scary. today was one of the rare days that both me and b both didnt have money due to very stupid reasons. she cabbed to school so all she had left was like, what, 1 dollar? i didnt even have a single cent! because the genius decided to be different today, she saved her whole proj in her precious thumbdrive. together with her $$$, she put them into her pretty pink pouch. then? THEN she forgot to bring it! BAGUS! genius in the makin, rocket scientist...
so like for the FIRST time, ok, mayb not first but just hilarious to have alvin lend both of us money. he edited ob and he had to rush to his sis's ROM, how cool's that?! gettin married at 25! ideal age! and me and b got into a whole bimbotic marriage love and partner convo AGAIN! we've been doin that alot lately and i've gotta admit that twas fun. hehehe!
then twas rushin of ob. celine was freakin funny but lucky for us, if she wasnt there we'd die of pissdom. din came to help too, and cos of that he didnt make it in time for his test! =X sorry! and whn he called i couldnt really talk to him cos i was RUNNIN to all ard to piece our ob tgd.
why isit that all i've done today was run. sounds familiar uh?! twas a line from proposal daisakusen..
the punishment for not exercisin all these times caught up with me today. cos we had no guys ard I had to run! mother cow, i nearly dieded from it.. ran FIVE flights of stairs up to level 6 and had to run ard lookin for the room. SUCKS!
after that i skipped tuition and hafi replaced me. we were intendin to go to kelly's hse to do bcs but we forgot that they had CYA! dorkish! so i still skipped tuition and hafi had a go with tuitionin since we were just talkin before that and she was sayin she wanted the extra cash, so tada! it turns out that she enjoyed herself durin the tuition cos the time passed fast BUT she wanted to kill the boy in class. LOL. boys... hahaha!
town with b, i swear today felt great. somehow there were no arguments, the clothes we looked at generally coincide and our mindsets similar. i loved how we were discussin why singapore cannot afford to have nightlife.
we managed to get what we went to town for, pretty pleased with it =DD fun and b's mommy's helpin us with it i guess. pls, the thg's too hot for the owner-to-be can?! and we found a potential shop to shop for clothese for the boyfriends. hahaa! spent many many and b's broke.. OOPS!
OH! and did i say i got dealt with quadriple blows today? what a bad day.. but i cant rmb what were they and even if i cant i cant elaborate here. alright, i really dont wanna continue now, it is a long enough entry..
i think i am weird, i am super uncomfy with double datin! cos i was lookin at sep and bj today and i got reminded of sheer and nad, me and hafiz.. damn.. half the time me and hafiz were like tellin each other, hoi, faster chao cancan?! hahaa! *shruggs. too bad i am weird.
oh oh OH! cos val was sayin she wanted to date a guy with blonde armpit hair, meanin he's angmoh la! i saw this angmoh near my area and he was holdin hands with this chinese girl. she was of a small build but the way she walks, TEROK sia! she kinda swaggers if you get what i mean. fine, i'm being bitchy here.
just a random question.. can cracks be mended? and if so, will it still be the same? can we really cover the signs of that crack? it is the same with human relationship. i realised i am not somebody who would put in effort for a friendship. in fact, i give up too easily.. it is just cos of the fact that i am afraid of gettin hurt. i am far too protective of myself such that i wont allow the slightest possibility of hurtin myself. this is also the case in relationship for me.. this feels really stupid..
okok! ended! maomao!!! read and you can comment. wahahhaa! anw this is my maomao!!!
12:04 AM