Name: Wednesday, December 26, 2007
random blabbers
silence from the slpin family members, music blastin in my ears, groovin to the beats, bingein on chocs. can life be any more perfect? the effects of endorphins are prolly the best thgs in this world. am i glad it is legal still?i very much dont fancy the recent lack of vocab. maybe it is a sign that i shud start pickin up a book to read. to be captivated by the expressive words may just be a better option than watchin the videos online. in fact, surprisingly, i seem to have ran out of them. more accurately said, i lost interest. i have a long list of shows to watch but i dont seem to have the enthusiasm anymore. maybe because they are all sad and emotional and all i am interested now is to lift my spirits and find my drive back. it is especially so now whn the school is threatenin to start really soon.. say in.. 4 days officially but it really starts in 6, almost in a wk's time to be exact.
i cant explain how i actually found that much courage to stay this strong. i was just braver suddenly. i guess i just gotta be grateful for it. thgs might have been worse whn i used to act tough but this time it needed more efforts than before. there were just many temptations to just stay weak. for me, the only way to stay strong seems to be just keepin to myself. the moment i divulge any of my emotions, i make myself really weak and vulnerable.
nsq's determination and ili's givin up made me wanna pull myself together even more. i guess i found me and nsq's prob. girl, we had 'invisible' support back in the older days cos we alws knew we'd have cedarians/teammates behind us but after we left, we lost that belief. it was just this simple reason that made us crumble but now, we are both tryin to strive for our own lives discardin this belief and in the process creatin new ones if we must. if we'd evn stop to look and listen, we still have others' support, i will alws have my berlins and babe, your bestfs, really. i knoe i cant contact you enough but the random smses are my best efforts.
if i ever wanna run away again, i will run literally. with my feet glued to the floor, metaphorically. i have every intention to start my runnin regime and just hit the track as and whn i'd love to, like in jc days but something is just holdin me back. it is alws difficult to make the first step and i totally hate this feelin but i will CONQUER it!! and start hittin the track again.. hmm.. but i think the reservoir or the gym's a better idea =DD
i was just thinkin i'd just trim my hair for new year, as in CHINESE new year. no way am i snippin it really short this time round. i alws end up cuttin my hair too short for chinese new year.. after which i will cut it to shoulder-length again before yr 2. gosh, am i lookin forward to it, new start =DD oh yeah, then if i must then i will extend my hair again. hahaa! fine, it is a waste of money but isnt it more convenient, i really hatin waitin for my hair to grow. hehehe!
Labels: binge, pillars, serenity, temptations
11:54 PM