Name: Saturday, November 10, 2007
bites
ok, i am very unhappy now cos i am cravin for sweet stuffs and i am none of them at home! that is the sucky thing abt sweet stuffs! well, that is unless i decide to eat the sugar cubes at home. motherf! i hate craving for something and not gettin it! i want mcflurry, chocs, yada yada yada... ok, ftheworld cos i am too cravey. i dont knoe if i am doin the right thing but i am just pushin you away cos i love myself more. i wanna cry cos i cant decide if it is the right decision. all i can do now i believe that i can survive this and move on, for something and somebod better.
i fuckin need a job cos i am sick and tired of my dad, he is PISSIN the fuck outta me. i want money, i want nomore of your crap. i am sick of you ventin it on me whn i have enough of my probs. you want the truth? whatever ways i turned out, you are partly responsible! so shut the fuck up! the truth is i am definitely too old for your crap. dont come givin me shit then try to act like you care cos no matter how touched i am i wont appreciate anythg you do anymore. i am bein really negative and nasty now but i believe myself enough to think that you either not have kids or be give able to give your kids. if not, i think you are irresponsible. you need not take my view cos honestly i dont give a fuck cos this is my stand and i really dont care if nobod accepts it other than me. i just dont want to say how ridiculous evrythg is but the fact's i am pissed off with it. he made it sound like he was some saint, he wasnt. he was rebellious before and just because he is 'grown-up' now he expects me to meet HIS expectations. seriously, fuck off. i cant imagine i actually told mrs L that i am closer to my mom now. she said she could feel that i am closer with my dad but i just didnt have the heart to say, not anymore.
some things just dont make sense to me and i feel like snappin at others yet i knoe it aint gon help.. now i just needa focus and get my crap right. i needa find a job, balance my work and try to still have a life. i hate ppl checkin on me and somebod just did.
ok, sorry for the profanity in this post. shall try to promise to cut dwn on it.
Labels: cravings, frustrations, tolerance
11:13 PM