Name: Tuesday, October 09, 2007
your broken smile
i had no choice but to stop my drama halfway just to pen this dwn (more like type it out). for the first time in a long time. i felt that there is something real in dramas, at least in this drama that i am watchin now. honestly i thot the story was kinda borin cos matthew wasn’t the lead so of cos he’l definitely not get the girl and i don’t fancy the leads too much. EVN THO HE IS A SPOREAN MODEL.yet I sympathize with matt’s character. basically he is a rich kid of some kind considerin that his family owns an antique shop. he alws comes across as this happy-go-lucky, cheerful and chirpy guy. to some extent he looked too playful for his own gd. but beside his smiles and light-hearted tone, he carries the burden of evrybod. he takes brotherhood to a new extreme. he doesn’t want anybody to pity him or share his loads. all he wants is to shoulder evrythg himself, silently. he just swallows all the bitterness and unhappiness without showin. the inability to cry whn something tragic happened to him just set my tears flowin. he cannot cry cos he is evrybod’s pillar, whthr he chooses to or not. he doesn’t need evrybod to worry because it does not help in the least. he doesn’t want others’ pity in any form, it is the pride. Pride can lift you up to be above others but it can also make you stubborn to the max. it makes you not be able to let go of certain thgs that you need not hold on to and brood over.
the familiarity of this character, of not bein able to cry whn you really feel like or need to. havin to swallow your tears back is the hardest thg in this world. the more you take in, the emptier you become. the pain kills. maybe because he’s a man and this is a drama that’s why he is able to take it, or I’m just not as strong as he is. *shruggs.
i realized i alws sympathize and prefer the second lead in dramas in some sense because they feel more real cos of the pain that they have to bear with and their attempt in tryin to come across and appear strong to evrybod. yet their smallest action or their eyes will alws give them away.
i still take my stand that a smile will never be a smile unless there’s ‘heart’ in it. it may have intention but the wrong one. instead of tryin to show one’s happiness, it could be to ease another’s emotions.
woo, i feel intellectual.
Labels: broken, intellectualkid, smile
1:45 AM