Name: Saturday, October 20, 2007
speakin of love
knoe how it feels like to be 100% sure that someone understands you, at least tries to feel your inner self; yet at the same time mean no harm and is ready to stay by you thru thick and thin? the feelin is great, euphoric. i admit, i lack trust. things that have happened to me made me trust ppl evn lesser. more often than not, i get involved in the ugly side of human nature, only to start grumblin abt it. i hate that side of me. as much as i am just the slightest bit out of my own comfort zone, my only reaction is to take action to defend myself. and this usually means i'd be nasty and i really hate the mean me. the fear of the possibility of gettin hurt conquers evrythg else.Love asked, did all the dramas this hols affected me in any way. honestly, i dont feel that it does. or maybe it did. it would not have affected me on the kinda guy i'd look out for. evn if it shud, it is not significant. the most noticeable influence; noticeable to myself, is the extra 'doors' lockin my heart away from ppl. the hols have taught me that reality taught Man to portray his fantasies onto dramas, fantasies that may never take place. yet at the same time it got me thinkin abt alot of issues. issues that i am not comfy discussin abt. it got me more 'doors'. i am not denyin some dramas are real but they are rare.. maybe some day somebod can open all these doors but they are just too many of them to unlock.
i do dream too, to write as beautifully as i wish to. to portray words so nicely, one can get comfort from just readin them. a dream i am still strivin towards.
Labels: doors, dream, locks, trust
3:45 AM