Name: Monday, October 08, 2007
montonous lifestyle
exactly two more weeks to school start. i am still not too sure am i looking forward to it.. looking forward because there is actually a purpose to my life, not excited because i must cope with people again. i am totally used to just facin my lappy at home and not talking to anybody. i am totally engrossed in my own world.my whole hols was super unproductive. i slacked on the excuse of needin a rest to get ready for the projs and syllabus. i watched vids for one whole month straight and the prev mth i was getting busy with some other matter. i can watch 12hrs straight of vids NON-STOP durin the last mth. for the first time in my life, i actually got bored of watchin vids. i mean, i am known among my buds that i am somebody who cant pull myself away frm tv but this time.. gosh, i am not exactly sick of vids or dramas but i am not getting the kicks anymore. all the dramas are startin to look and feel the same.
the male lead has a steady gf but another unique girl came along and the male lead falls in love with the girl unknowingly. add a lil sweetness in between with a lil obstacles in between plus the objection of the gf and story ends with the male lead and the unique girl. the dramas alws make life seem as if Love is evrythg but it isn’t, is it?
as this vids lose their kicks and my idea of fairytale’s slowly dyin too. the feelin’s definitely not too great. sddnly, i am losin interest with guys. i rmb sayin that guys who gives such carin looks and seemed as if they genuinely care that melt girls’ hearts, esp me. but now it seems i totally hate guys who give the carin look. i’d wanna give them a tight slap if I ever see those face or those looks. i cant explain the sddn change, there seems to be many thgs cant explain abt myself. it seems evn i don’t understand myself.
i rmbed i’d said that real guys shud treasure brotherhood but it seems that one who takes it to the extreme is scary. imagine a guy who backs his brother so badly, he is not only sacrificing himself but also the people ard him. there needs to be a limit.. all in all, it is just impossible to have a perfect guy but maybe someone who can make up for your shortcomings. it shudnt be difficult, i have plenty of them, shortcomings,
i was just thinking, if i am to attempt to ans adam khoo’s question on, ‘why do i wake up evryday?’ cant. there is no purpose to life now, this simply sounds so suicidal. hahaha! there is like no meanin to my existence now. i feel like a walkin zombie sometimes. the hols is really too long and too vexin for my own good. i feel like a bird but not as free as a bird.
Labels: monotonous, purposeless
5:56 PM