Name: Sunday, September 30, 2007
a long time ago
it's been so long since i last experienced such.. maybe primary sch days, i felt it so strongly. the need to retaliate, as if for survival, to go to the extremes just to protect myself and evn hurtin ppl at losin myself in the process. it is definitely not part of growin up, it is the part of movin backwards. i am supposed to be almost hittin twenty but i still have to fit into the growin up stages of my classmates and schmates. maybe this would cause an unbalance but well, there is enough for me to be worried abt other than this.i may have short term memory but i remember what others have done to me, not only the bad but definitely also the good, i am not ungrateful. okie, time to go back to dramas =))))))
Labels: extremes, indulge in a world of farcity, memories
8:26 PM
retaliation.. or not
i knoe i shudnt be doin this because it is gon start another snowballin affair but i just think i shudnt let it go here. it is the similarity that brought abt the break. the ability to see the motive behind evry action and gesture. the only thg that tore me away was the lies, the actins, the need to use guilt as weapon. i am not sayin i am a prefect kiddo. if i am perfect i guess i wudnt be involved in such. if my cj style of life cant fit into tp's then too bad, i really do not intend to change. however inperfect i am i wont offer a warped story to my friend, i tell them what really happened between me and another person.this may just piss off more than one person, mayb evn the class. good for you that you've got a foothold in class. this may just be a petty clash that is not needed AT all but it just sets me thinkin..
is this just one of your tactics so that it gives you more than ample reason to join the others you think are 'cooler' =)
i was just gon let evrythg go cos stayin angry for long is just too tirin for me. you knoe it but wells, just whn i was startin to try to start talkin agn, i felt betrayed in some sense so 'poof'. let's go back to square one like snake and ladder.
mayb this entry's gon come out more harsh than i expected it but i am just voicin out MY own thots. one word of advice, if you needa hate out and voice it out so openly in your blog, dont stop. dont start gettin all sad and emo abt the whole issue on your blog such that you are the victim. whatever happened we kept it to ourselves, we have given you enough face, you wanted this to be open, we'l do it your style. just dont change your mind, then mayb i might just give you more respect.
also, for those who really think you are GENUINELY concerned, it is best to get BOTH sides of the story before you conclude.
Labels: friendship, school, truth
7:33 PM
read-only
as i’ve mentioned, i am watchin this taiwanese show. the plot is set in a high sch in taiwan. the storyline is abt 4 students who grew up tgd. the 3+1 refers to the 3guys and 1girl. there are just rhetorical questions that bother me so much after watchin the show. Why is it that they can be so happy just with their simple lives?
Why does their lives seem so much more carefree just cos we are on different parts of the world?
Why don’t we have such strong friendships?
Why are dramas alws so idealistic whn the real world is nowhere near perfect?
Why is it that in the real life, no matter we are in the right or wrong, we are still at the mercy of ‘THE authority’?
Why don’t we have that sense of righteousness?
Why is our culture such that parents no longer stand up for their kids for the right causes?
Why doesn’t the person who is right have the upper hand?
Why can’t we stand up for ourselves evn if we are not in the wrong?
Why does evrythg seem so perfect whn it is not?
Why is reality so unfair?
Why is the society so cruel?
Why cant most of our local guys be more of a man (responsibilities, righteousness, courage, etc), aren’t we supposed to be ahead of most countries?
Why are we lackin in all these?
Why, w…hy, WHY?!
Lastly, why are there no such guys in SINGAPORE?!
Done! *pleased =)
this hols has turned me into an grumpy old woman. ahaha!
Labels: read-only, reality check
6:58 PM
dont like
i hate it whn i make an effort to help and you peeps only see the wrong but not the effort. so stop tellin me abt not contributin and not helpin. if tryin to help's gonna get me more irritatin remarks, forget abt gettin ANY help frm me. i am not denyin that i am really voicin it out at a time like this, in the wee hours, cos of an emotion overwhelm. still, i dont like the fact that what shud have been a praise turned out to be stern words. not that i am askin for a praise but cant you simply just open your damn eyes to see the fuckin effort? giish!`this post is a read-only, no askin unless YOU wanna piss me off too!
2:24 AM
Saturday, September 29, 2007
blogger bitchy / black is love
alrights, blogger's bein a bitch again. this time they are not lettin me upload pics. anw i've dyed my hair. it is gothic black now. i love it to bits, twas better than i expected, really. cos now i can do my extreme dressin again. like black eyeliners, dark. monochromatic dressin. i admit that i was reluctant to dye it back black but it was for the better cos now my face doesnt pale. and i look so innocent! =\ hahaha!i am currently watchin 樱野3加1 now *smiles. i am tryin to slow dwn the watchin of this series cos there are only 8eps uploaded! i am abit sadded by not enough shows to watch cos i am pretty selective. as in at certain period i'd only wanna watch dramas by certain actors and actresses. i dont like feelin despondent evrytime i finish a serie w/in a short period of time and sufferin frm w/drawal of sort. gosh, the feelin really sucks. hoho.
today's a bad day! read some stuff i am not pretty happy abt but just well.. let it go. i gotta say i am abit slow.. i read the entry before but i gotta be asked to realise hey! was it me bein mentioned? ahhaha! sorry xP let bygones be bygones, whats gone cannot be recovered. i shud not let myself be so affected anymore.
i dunno how i am really feelin abt sch. some parts of me is bein damn enthu abt it, the other parts of me am rather anti it. *shruggs. anyhows i guess i'd still wanna go back to sch so i can ppl watch but then, i love rottin at home. *indecisive!
birthday comin but.. like prev yrs, i am not really enthu abt celebratin. i kinda feel like just coopin at home with sep to celebrate both of our bdays on wed! xP but i wanna meet up with the cj peeps too. unfortunately, they shud be preparin for their As =( so i guess it's a no. it's a bit weird not havin kerr ard, i am alws reminded of her durin this period. 2004 was memorable. hahaha! the mattress fallin, toilet searchin, storeroom screamins. nobod can beat the mei, nsq. she is the only person who will msg me, not happy bday but ' i knoe you are not very happy on a day like this but pull thru it babe.' ironic. hahaha! i rmb last yr i told berlin i hate to receive bday msges, seriously i do. they still sent it anw. i knoe they mean it, i just hate it whn ppl dont mean it send me bday wishes cos if you dont, why bother. hahaha!
skip evrythg, just presents will do. i am honest, i only love presents xP the rest forget it. hahaha!
Labels: bday, dramas, emotional, gone with the wind, hair
11:51 PM
quiz TWO
QUIZ TIME!*Person who tagged me : delly
*My relationship with her : classmate & friend
*5 impressions I have of her : funny, loud, helpful, cranppy (crappy+cranky) & proactive
*Most memorable thing she has done for me : quite alot
*Most memorable words she has said to me : it can happen
*If she becomes my lover, I will : love her many?
*If she becomes my enemy, I will : ignore her?
*Most desirable thing I want to do for her now is : get her a lover?
*My overall impression of her is : not afraid to do what she thinks is right, somewhat similar to me
Labels: quiz 2
11:09 PM
Friday, September 28, 2007
another tag-like quiz
QUIZ TIME!*Person who tagged me : vivi (meowmeow)
*My relationship with her : classmate & fellow anti-mourinho-er ( or are you not now?)
*5 impressions I have of her : funny, loud, vulgar! (tsktsk, aiyo..! hahaha!), cranppy (crappy+cranky) & REALLY gd with her writings.
*Most memorable thing she has done for me : cant think of any =\
*Most memorable words she has said to me : okie, we needed talk more. [if someone dont wanna share also cannot force]
*If she becomes my lover, I will : do what lovers do. hoho.
*If she becomes my enemy, I will : ..ignore her?
*Most desirable thing I want to do for her now is : find her vehicle necklaces? =\
*My overall impression of her is : loud and dirty-minded. hoho.
****What I think people feel about me : loud, silly, weird, random?
*Characteristics I love about myself : cranky
*Characteristics I hate about myself : emotional, easily affected
*Most ideal person I want to be is : one of my ex-classmate, unbothered by what others say and uber confident yet sensitive to besties.
*A message for people who care for me and like me : birthday comin! thanks! =D
Pass this quiz to 10 people whom you wish to know how they feel about you :
1) whoelse but sep
2) val
3) din
4) hway
5) simo
6) adel
7) amelia
8) timo
9) kelsen
10) vivi
*Who is no.6 having a relationship with? : ..kelsen? *shruggs.
*Is no.9 a male or female? : errr.. it really depends
*If no.7 and no.10 are in a relationship, will it be a good one? : no way! hahaha!
*What is no.2 studying? : the almighty, HTM!
*When was the last time I chatted with no.3? : two days ago whn he popped by my hse =))
*What type of music does no.8 like? : alien music? i am human, so i have no idea.
*Does no.1 have siblings? : kinda i guess? two bro? or isit three? (we are damn tight but there are some complications here. hoho.)
*Would I woo no.3? : no, we are too close. hahaa!
*Would I woo no.7? : if i'm a guy. why not, she's hot.. but taken =(
*Is no.4 single? : yep, single and available.. and SIZZLING hot!
*What's no.5's surname? : chey! like it is chey! not that i said cheh xP
*Do no.5 and no.9 get along well? : okie, they need to get to knoe each other first man.
*Where is no.2 studying? : of cos the cool cool TP!
*Say something casual about no.1 : she FAT but she is love
*Have I tried developing feelings for no.8? : of cos, feelin of wantin to kill him with his weird comments. hahaha!
*What colour does no.4 like? : shucks = orange?
*Are no.1 and no.5 best friends? : they knoe each other but not besties yet =)
*Does no.7 like no.2? : as friends i guess..
*How did I get to know no.2? : this chatterbox talked non-stop durin the first day of orientation and walaa!
*Does no.1 have any pets? : herself, the pig
*Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? : ...just that lil something missin but HOT
Labels: quiz 1
8:03 PM
transfer
i was just thinkin maybe i shud at least try to type like a norm folk. no more excessive hahaa-ing and hoho-ing, whn smtimes they don evn have a purpose to their existence. more often than not, they are a smokescreen to hide my emotions and inability to express myself better. i miss the ability to express myself ever-so-well with english words instead of chinese characters. moreover, by tryin to be normal, mayb more ppl'd get so irritated with the chunks of words that they stop readin on.dunno whats up with that sudden surge of emotional thots. well, it is partly cos i saw - and +. i really think they are the sweetest couple considerin what they went thru but sweet couples are the last thg i need at a time like this.
ohh.. i nearly forget abt the tagtag thg.. let me go find frm smbod to copy frm.......
1.Each player of this game starts off by giving (REVEALING!!) 5 weird things about themselves.
2.People who gets tagged needs to write in their blog of their own weird things as well and state the rules clearly.
3.In the end, you'll select 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
***okie, i am just being anal and complainin like a pig that the whole phrasin of this game sounds wrong, esp the part on five things abt yourself part.. but who cares, since i am alr doin it. short questions that require long ans.
5 weird things about myself:
1. i laugh too much, like i dont evn knoe how to control it smtimes.
2. i hate changes but i love a new start as in knowin new ppl, at the same time i wud refuse to socialize whn i meet ppl for the first time. basically i love to live in the past, refusin to move on. alws thinkin that my mates from previous schools are better. may not be the case alws but it seems that i only appreciate sth or stuffs whn they have slipped me by.
3. i can be anal abt grammar and all the englishy thgs but my english is not that gd, i still use weird words i come up with myself. a habit i picked up frm cedar days and am proud to keep with me.
4. i like to come across strong, i never like ppl tryin to manipulate my emotions such that i become weak and vulnerable. i am not afraid of the consequences as long as i am strong on the outside, even if i wither inside, i'd still wanna put on a strong front. put it simply, stubborn.
5. i can be nice and toleratin but once my trust is betrayed, i become a different person. i'l treat you like how you treat me. love you like how you love me. hurt you doubly like how you hurt me.
5 people to do this:
- sep
- din
- pei
- kerr
- hafi
***no val cos val has alr got tagged by adel =)) thats all for tonight.. i really needa doze before i wake up to meet berlin. i really miss them.. but no cam.. bOO!` just wanna hear how's their uni life like.. alright, sounds bad enough for me to say this to myself. whatever.
anw before i forget, i watched 881 today, totally adored the movie. i will dedicate one post just for the movie and explain it in my own words.
lastly, it is so difficult being normal, tryin to curb the urge the press 'enter' and move on to the next line. i just need to stop runnin away and keep typin, keep typin.......
Labels: be norm, tag, transfer
7:54 PM
blog, blog, BLOG!
before i actually end up not bloggin due to an excess of video-viewin online, i guess i shud get my ass started on bloggin again. i am slowly gettin into the hols mood. yeah, aft one mth of hols, dont ask me why it took me so long. twas that kinda lifestyle as if i lived just to exist, slpin eatin and stonin ard but lookin at how i lost 3kg in three days, i gotta say it's not a bad idea. whether it is forced or voluntary, i am continuin it, i seriously needa lose some weight. it just doesnt help that even i am not confident of myself.i am surprised at how i am copin but it is alot on the video-watchin and gosh, i am surprised at how attached i am to them. just now whn i cudnt load the last few episode i was close to gettin so pissed and not knowin what to do. i was just thinkin what am i gon do after i finish this drama man. i get very attached to drama. who wouldnt whn thgs alws seem to fall into place so perfectly in a drama. oh wells, i found something else to watch =)
val! sep! no more crunchyroll, we go www.movie-distro.com i am tellin you there are pretty lotsa video, tho they are linked frm crunchy but the thg's they are still watchable. woohoo! i'ma happy kid =D
Labels: addiction, happykid, vids, withdrawal
1:45 AM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
sudden likin
there is a sudden likin for pics in this category and this is the first i am postin, enjoy =)
surviving with grace] i love its name the most xP
Labels: artistic shots, bird, cage
1:22 AM
Monday, September 24, 2007
bored.....
if i ever start on my elvin again, i can almost imagine seppie killin me. this sounds so cool, callin her seppie after like.. lets just term it.. eons. i am tryin to act normal here again, no excessive hahahas. actually i was just noticin, not many blog with hahahahas, so apparently i am one of the rare idiots but bein rare makes me special so who cares *smugg.i am actually gettin quite bored online thats why i am like bloggin excessively! i am so happy rottin at home these days and my hair's growin real long. fine, at least longer than my normal 'do. i've finally decided that i am goin to dye my hair back black. let's go gothic. hoho. it is so rare to have my hair so long that i can bun with ease instead of tyin real tight pony. it is almost a norm now to bun up my hair and wear a hairband. omg, that had better not cause 'recedin' hairline. i already have a lack of hair at the fringe area! i am fine with tyin hair now cos the shorter ones actually fall to cover my neck. i just have this weird habit of have my neck area at the back covered. it used to be the same even durin nball days. i even had my hair tied halfway just so that my hair can cover my neck. i am sucha naggy old woman. i actually spend one long paragraph on my hair alone. anw i think i have a long neck! gahh!`
anw i've decided that there is no reason for me to hide in my own shell just because of ppl readin my blog, feels a lil dumb. oh wells, i am fickled, shoot me. bascally it is just that i have decided to self-categorized my own blogs and just chuck different entries into different blogs. should i feel less comfy abt sharin some stuffs i just have to chuck it into another blog, easy job. it is an attempt to appear well-organized. i think i have grumbled enough and even tho i am bloody tempted to post a pic of elvin but lets just take a break for today or i might just run out of pics to post.
Labels: elvin-less, grumbles, happykid
8:55 PM
rant
it really feels so great to be lettin evrythg out. nobody knoes me best other than myself. hoho. why is it that the rough actresses alws get the cute actors?! *jealous jealous!! but it’s an undeniable fact that they are pretty to start with. i’m happily engrossed in all these drama ‘reviews’. this is a representation of my lack of reading material. if nothing too wrong comes out of tmr i might wanna do some runnin myself. i need the focus to start runnin agn. sorry seppie.oh yeah, let’s rejoice, Man U beat Chelsea 2-0 but actually really comin back to think abt it, maybe I don’t hate them that much.. it is just that I hate mourinho's kiddy comments but w/o him there wont be as much headlines. maybe he was really passionate abt chelsea, all maybes you see.
what's gon follow is a whole load of cheenafied nonsense, beware!:
我恨你让我的世界从此没有色彩!
okie, I've finished my elvin ng show, loooong ago. there is just one thing that amazes me evn tho i am so sure it is a common thg for guys to do… it is as if they can really plunge into another relationship w/o feelings. it is not unknown that they think with their below belt but does it have to be so bad? on top of bein ‘unfeelin’, they are OBTUSE. are they really so immune that they cant sense others’ feelings and their actions? or do they choose not to feel it at all. all i knoe is that girls’ are damn gd at this. maybe the opposite sexes compensate each other this way =)) alright, i shut stop all these grumbling, all these shud have been kept behind closed doors.
Labels: battle of the sexes, chelsea, man u, mourinho, soccer
1:38 AM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
time to let it all out like a fart
i think i knoe the reason behind all my sudden surge of emotions, negative ones at that. nothing and nobod seemed right today. i need some retail therapy but mayb even that wont help. i've been bottlin up so much i guess i'm reachin my limits soon (or is it limit? *shruggs). sometimes i just wanna cry but the stubborn me refuse to show any form of weakness, not whn all i want is to be strong. how stupid and contradictin evrythg sounds. i am so lazy to put evrythg to words, now even elvin cant cheer me up. i'm back to the days whn i was tryin so hard to surpress my emotions that the slightest thg that carried sadness with it can set my tears flowin non-stop. one of those times was back whn i was still close with kerrin and she just got pissed with me over i-do-not-knoe-what and i rmb tellin her our friendship was impt and i just went home aft tuition. on that fateful day i rmbed my family was watchin the nkf show, that was whn we were sec3 or something. i just cried over one of the sad patient's lifestory for a gd ten mins. for somebod who rarely shed a tear it was uber bad. i cry more often that before, back in those cedar lower sec days, i can never get myself to cry. i rmb it all started with autumn in my heart and since then my tear glands decided to be more active, how sucky is that.
okie, i am sick of my own old grandma stories so i am endin with the usual.
fierce] i realised i like guys with abit of imperfection, either the toot-toot face or like.. say.. i cant exactly put a word to it but guys who look almost perfect just does not attract me. period.
Labels: imperfect, overwhelm, perfect, yawns
11:05 PM
addictive, addicted!
elvin's addictive! now i am watchin all the elvin ng's shows, from the peak to happily ever after (凡间新仙人). his acting skills have improved so much! it is not difficult to spot the difference, of cos his acting in kinship's the best but the earlier ones he was cuter! as in it was more raw =D i am so addicted to local dramas that my sis is askin whats wrong with me xPi knoe there is an extreme lack of pics on my blog but you cant blame me, i am really havin trouble uploadin pics from my hp and i need a cam really badly!!! =((
I NEED A CAM REAL BAD!
gosh, i think i gotta start savin for one but pris and savin just doesnt equate..
*it is not that i've not been happy but it just feels like something is missin from my life.
Labels: addicted, cam, elvin again
6:04 PM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
stoneded
an excerpt frm smbod's blog:so a bunch of us decided to give her a farewell dinner..perhaps a soft wrap to our years of being together.everyone seemed jolly..perhaps that was just a facade to mask the saddness inside. We appeared happy..photograph taking, tons of laughter,mountains of jokes,plentiful of bitchings…we appeared ..happy. As i took a lingering look at our group i wondered..why is it that it took a farewell dinner to bring us together? what happened to all those time when time is abundant and there isn’t the ominous departure lurking in the air? That we could have done things ever so differently..perhaps sharing more, treasuring the company?
But, my dear friends, not all farewells are allowed sweet reunions..Some farewells..well..they are forever…..So perhaps, from this day,from this moment we learn the meaning of Carpe diem( seize the day)..we learn how to cherish what we have, whom we have and the tangible friendship/kinship that is in our lives, that we learn how to cherish each and every moment time allow us too because, just one day, just one fine day, it will cease to be ours..ever..again…
But, my dear friends, not all farewells are allowed sweet reunions..Some farewells..well..they are forever…..So perhaps, from this day,from this moment we learn the meaning of Carpe diem( seize the day)..we learn how to cherish what we have, whom we have and the tangible friendship/kinship that is in our lives, that we learn how to cherish each and every moment time allow us too because, just one day, just one fine day, it will cease to be ours..ever..again…
woke up with something unpleasant and it seems like it's continual and it's never-endin. i dont like wakin up and startin a day like this.. damn.... plus anal dad, it is not in the least fun. fine, i started all this. you seem like you're helpin but more often than not, you are makin thgs worse. i really dont like it. it is extreme, the acting like you-are-givin-full-support to the anal craps. it is not fun at all man. there are so much i wanna grumble but i shall stop at that.
revenge's on its way. may evrythg just fall in place nicely =))
i am havin fun googlin my elvin ng but i realised nobod talked abt his 'origin' as in nobod talked abt whether he is mixed blood or something. it is quite obvious he got those caucasian-lookin eyes. blah. smore he had braces before, i just have a thg for straightened teeth and he has those gaze, faints. alright, enough of words, this entry is gettin a lil borin.....
the prince]
the couple] i think they look really great tgd, look at the cheeky face.
Labels: bad mood, the prince
8:36 PM
Friday, September 21, 2007
the usual place
still feelin real sucky today...i'm at val's place agn, supposed to be helpin her with her studies but i'm not sure if i really am. i'm watchin my crunchyroll and she is 模范棒棒糖-ing. aiyo, that baby watches the taiwanese shows like my sis does. both of them would watch the clips and start laughin loudly. val's hse is like my second home, this is hilarious, the time i spent hangin ard her hse. i had wanted to catch a wink but seein now i guess i wont, there is only less than an hour before i needa rush to meet fad.
later i am still meetin fad to go to mrs serene ng's wake again. this time i guess i'l be lookin at her coffin and talkin to her husband.. worried.
i was just thinkin, mayb me and my siblings hafnt been too nice to my mom. i mean she is really ok if she dsn get cranky but durin such times we treat her shabbily. i was observin just now, my bro was like some master and my mom was busy servin him. that boy is spoilt man. oh yeah, i'm maturin, that's why i am feelin this way and seein thgs in this light. it is just sad to see that my parents are no longer as young as they used to be. smtimes i wanna bring them back into this society but there is just this barrier... oh wells.
i am so bored, i need to find pics to upload =))
no pics so just make do with this video, the singer sings quite well and it is funny. cant really rmb who first showed me this singer's song but this is frm stevenlim's anw. hahaha! and i think malay song sounds nice =))
4:32 PM
fat, Fat, FAT!!!
we managed to drag ourselves up for a jog in the morn. well, it was more like we were just abt to slp and we decided to stay up and go for a mornin jog. the 'we' referred to me and sep. gosh, both of us feel damn fat. just that i looked fatter. kns, i hate all these muscles man. we managed to run abit and went for breakfast.. yeah!! i got my yummy congee. yum yum! we watched a lil of kinship again.. *swoons! elvin is just sweet! evrytime he smiles, i just melt xP i hate evil ppl tryin to break couples up, there'l be retribution! irritatin.. all was well until aft my bath, OMFG! i put on weight agn!!! like.. A-G-A-I-N! now i cant fit into my fattest jeans alr! what am i gon do man! killin myself seems like a better option. my upper body feels okie but it is my lower body just keeps balloonin! i am so scared now! *sobs.
THA letter finally arrived and my mood just took a dip. i am really startin to hate the way my mood has to depend on these thgs, it is just screwed alright? i dont like it one bit.
since i have started and have loads of time.. i guess i shud blog a lil abt mrs serene ng. well, it was sad that she passed away. her reputation with my batch and above hasnt been too gd but the juniors aft us totally loved her i guess. she used to have her bitchy moments but becomin a mother totally changed her.it was really sad that she passed away while givin birth to her son. his name is ethan if i am not wrong. there were just alot of thgs that i am hearin frm here and there are just makin her death evn sadder. it is not exactly our fault that we cudnt rmb much abt her, she only taught us for awhile.. well, at least i rmbed she was a pretty tchr. we read some blogs and we read abt how some juniors wanted to score As for the subjects that she taught and to dedicate it to her. one thg comfortin is that accordin to the islam religion, all women to die durin childbirth goes to heaven. mayb she is better off there as well. me and sep went to her wake, not that i knew how a normal wake shud look like but the way they decorated it looked like God was holdin her close. sweet. anyhow, may her soul rest in peace =))
it is just scary to finally realize how fragile life is. for what we thought was natural, something we took for granted can actually take our lives away.
it is also durin these periods that the cedar spirit shows its worth and what it is capable of. no matter how long or how far apart cedarians are, whn there is a need to come tgd, it can happen w/in a short time. this not only shows how resourceful we are but how tight we are, how close. evry cedarian is close to another few and we just pass this way. i dont care what others may say but i still choose to believe that whn it comes to disseminatin info, esp one that concerns another cedarian, we are quick.
gosh, i am feelin really sucky now, it has nothing to do with the wake but just tha letter. i think i need a strong doze of elvin =))
woots!` the photos were uploaded so fast today! mayb it is because still early and there are not many ppl online.
Labels: cedar spirit, mrs serene ng, sucky feel
11:26 AM
berlin wall!!!!
alright, basically today i travelled ALLLLL the way to ntu. it's mother far alright? but twas all worth it for my berlin. i really missed them and the last time iwas supposed to meet them, i freakin overslpt. sorry.... i knoe i was a lil of a wet blanket cos i just had to leave but it feels weird to stay over and i am really not in the best of state to stay over cos been havin very bad slpin habits and they are takin a toll on me.. blahh!` excuses but here are the beautiful photos!! 
4/9 of berlin] estee(hippo), jlow(lowell), huihui(hway) and meredith(dicky)
our usual ritual] me and dicky!
our lepak look] i like this pic of me and lowell!! =))
my spastic babe, hwayhway]
berlin on the ONLY bridge in ntu] i look crappy! small eyes!!! eeeewwww...!
bridge photo agn] gosh, i am sucha pro camwhore, all these photos were taken by me and twas first shots =)) now i knoe, i've got long arms and long neck. what happened to the short legs! =(( boohooo! and i hate those small eyes! they are the results of my lack of slp. all these because of elvin but worth it xP
typical berlin shot] it is like our trademark to do spastic posts. i dont knoe who zoomed in on this photo and this was what happened. it was so embarrassin cos there were ppl walkin on the bridge and we were like posin right in their faces.. HILARIO!
more spastism] we were all supposed to do stupid faces and i did a yucky "joyce" face xP sick shit!
spastication] look at all our faces, i had that "candy" face. *freaks out.. i love hippo's mouth!! why does hway still look so pretty? tsk! hahaha!
the last of spastism] estee's hippopotato face and lowell's bunny face, all classics!
the same lepak pose] since this is my fav photo, it deserves another space, to be posted up again =DD
Labels: berlin day, ntu, retarded pose, spastism
1:26 AM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
confession
me and my love?all along i'd thought it was impossible between us
but i was wrong
when i see her with another guy, i get jealous and angry
i even feel like boxing that guy
i keep wanting to see her,
hear her voice and even watch her tell me off
i've developed feelings for her without my realizing it
whn i heard she had a car accident, i realized i couldn't live without her
i was even willing to exchange my life for hers
so this is what it's like when you love someone
all along, i'd thought i preferred soft and gentle girls
but love is such a strange thing. i actually fell for someone like her.
forgive me.
forgive me for being so dull (obtuse)
forgive me for not being honest with you
i love you. i've been in love with you all along
Labels: sweet from within, that's what love is all about
2:54 AM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
i just wish to cry in your arms, whoever you may be...
sth hilarious to start with..this is a convo between me and sep, i am not talkin to myself but the fact that we were usin the same nick. our emaths tchr passed away durin labour. how scary is that? all the more i dont want to have kids. i am depressed, why is evrythg so nice and sweet in reel life but evrythg just seems wrong and painful?
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
i wan elvin but he cannot be so mean la....
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
he made yusheng so sad.
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
hahahs
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
why must he reject her whn he likes her?
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
fainted
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
but seriously ar. you like this guy and both of them comfy with each other
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
what will you do if your best fren said she likes the guy to you first?
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
withdraw los
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
same...
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
then he v mean elvin kept pushin her away la!
CEDARIANS: Mrs Serene Ng's wake - Mt Vernon Parlour 1 Service time: wed-fri 8pm. funeral - sat 8.30am says:
pain pain pain!
i really dont like the fact that elvin is hurtin evn tho he loves the girl, jesseca. blog on that later cos i have SO much to comment on this issue. so painful! the recent episodes are just so sad i am alws cryin over them. the pain behind their faces are so blatant that it cuts me deep. gosh, i am just a sucker for infatuations.
lastly, i'm just hopin that mrs serene ng rests in peace. for those that cant really rmb, includin myself, she was 4p's emaths tchr. all i rmbed was she was an upper sec tchr and she was quite prett. saddenin....
Labels: cries, elvin mean, sadded, tchr's death
6:13 PM
forgotten
it still remains a fact that i cant stay annoyed for an excessively long time. this is very unscorpion but i just cant help it. it is really tiring to stay annoyed but it is not totally back to before feeling, it is just.. numbness? like what val said, let nature take its course? evn tho nothing is natural now. it is the missin of old times and the laughter. the feelin of familiarity is gone, over what i consider a small issue now. however, it is still the wrong thg to do then that resulted in something this major.i am quite sick of all these friendship probs. smtimes it is just a small issue and a minor error in my handlin of the situation screws evrythg up. i still owe dinny a explanation of some kind. all these are so killin me that all i wanna do is slp and not think of anythg. i miss the old times whn evrythg is so chillout. less sensitivity, more fun. whr has that open mind went to? did the experience in tp locked it? is lockin it up the only way to adapt to tp? i dont believe and dont want it to happen.
i am pretty tired of all but there are still happy times i gotta say. the oktfest is one and here are some photos =)) lets hope blogger works and lets me upload them =DD
val's angmoh guy with a red cross xP]
joel, the supervisor] CELINE ALERT! spot the *celine
1:54 AM
Monday, September 17, 2007
still new...
CONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS...!
2:47 AM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
confusin
AL-right! now that i have managed to retrieve my old blogger domain i can use the old blogger which means that i can change my template at whim. still, it is pretty tedious with all the details comin into the picture. there will be the linkin and what-nots. still, i love my berlin =))) random. hoho.now, ppl can also read my older entries cos i am too lazy to move them to drafts. also, i can just slowly view them myself. mayb i might regret this later but i cant care less now.
Labels: random
11:13 PM